Yo Mama is soooooo…
You fill in the blank with your favorite ‘yo mama’ joke.
When my son came home spouting several of these jokes, quite tickled at them I might add, I immediately corrected him. I went on and on about how they are disrespectful and inappropriate for him to be hearing or telling. Then I saw his face. He was crushed. My little boy, who loves to laugh and to make people laugh, was sincerely disappointed that I didn’t find his jokes funny. But guess, what?
I DON’T CARE.
Yep, really. Why should yo mama be so ugly, so fat, and so stupid? Let me explain, dear son, what YO MAMA and YO FRIENDS’ MAMAS REALLY ARE:
We are givers of life. We carried you, some of us threw up for 9 months (I’m not bitter) with you, and we got stitches in places the sun doesn’t shine…and we still took you home with us!
We are short order cooks. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner…now? Right now? Simply because you are so hungry that you’re going to make everyone around you miserable if your belly isn’t full all day long? Ok, fine. We love you, we’ll feed you. We might even feed you well…just don’t forget it. Oh, and learn to cook before you have a spouse – it’ll go a long way.
We are talented. Need a bedtime song… or five? No problem. A silly dance to brighten your day? Sure thing chicken wing! Need help with your school project? Arts and crafts R us!
We are taxis. We love to drive you all over Kingdom Come each and every day so that you can be all your little selves can be in hopes of learning something that will keep you from being a hindrance to society and maybe, just maybe, be THE thing that carries you through your life.
We are nurses and doctors. Another scrape? Here’s a band-aid. That stuff behind your ear? Who knows, but don’t worry, we’ll handle it. A splinter? A sprain? We have just the thing.
We are therapists. Please tell us, over and over, how bad things are and how unfair things are. We are truly here to listen. No, seriously, we are. We love you so much we won’t roll our eyes because we love you and what is important to you is important to us. Most of the time 🙂
We are teachers. Do you know your birthday? Your address? Your phone number? Do you know what to do in an emergency? Do you know how to wipe a toilet seat (boys!!!!) or do your laundry? Oh, you will, don’t worry. Need us to check your homework or to help you study? Yes, we can do that, too. Calculus? Algebra? We might find other teachers, but whatever, the point is still the same.
We are cheerleaders. Let me add, we are your biggest fans. We want to see you do well. We will come to every game, play, performance and sit in the stands and scream our bloody heads off for every little (and big!) thing you do. We are FOR you!
We are disciplinarians. It’s not me, it’s you. Yeah, it really is. It’s you… you’re smaller than us, have lived fewer years, you don’t know a whole lot even when you think you do. We get that. We discipline because we love you, and, well, see number 4.
We are love! We want so much more for you… including happiness, joy, and love. We want you to live life, carefully and fully, and love your neighbor as yourself. Love rules!
So there you have it, dear son. You now know what Yo Mama is, like it or not. You will continue to be corrected when you tell those jokes, even though we know you are only being silly. Why? It’s simple – it’s because I am YO MAMA.