Hi y’all! I am Sammi. A full time counselor and behavior therapist for kids with autism, avid dreamer, DIY’er, and to 3 very special boys, I am mommy. Xander (10), George (3) and Elias(3). No that’s not a typo, George and Eli are twins. If you read the word twins and ran to your fridge to refill your wine glass…cheers! I am right there with you. I am excited to be sharing the trials, tribulations, thrills, and spills of being a parent of twins! It has been quite the journey for the past 3 years and I look forward to what the future holds for these determined boys of mine.
You nervously get out of your car with your significant other, hand in hand, excited to be seeing your little bundle of joy for the first time! You can’t tell if your tummy is rumbling because you are nervous or if your morning sickness is kicking in (we will get to that later…) You sit down in the waiting room eyeballing all of the cute magazines with the momma and her baby, knowing you will be just like them!
You get back to the room, eye contact and a quick hand squeeze of your significant other. The doctor goes from a happy content smile, to a straight face. A few hmmm and okays…. You think, “oh no…. what’s wrong. Can you not find a heartbeat? Is it an alien? It has to be an alien… of course I am the first one to give birth to an alien… Why isn’t this doctor talking!” You wait in silence for what seems to be FOREVER.
The doctors finally opens her mouth and says… “Well Mom and Dad… you have a strong heartbeat!” You think, “Oh thank God! That’s all I wanted to hear, a strong heartbeat is what we wanted! Wait… no. Why are you still staring at me?” The doctor continues… “Not only do you have one strong heart beat- but TWO!! CONGRATULATIONS- you are having TWINS! I’ll let you two have a moment together.”
That moment we spent together was nothing short of a whirlwind.
And that is when reality began…
Two babies? How am I going to take care of two babies at the same time? That isn’t what the front covers of the magazines showed! Not one of them had two babies! The car ride home, was a silent one- with a few “I just can’t believe it!” comments and an occasional smile. Thoughts of all kinds come rushing into your head, and just when you think you can’t think of anything else to worry about with twins, you get the gurgle. Which lends way to the FIRST truth about being a Twin Momma.
The morning sickness emanated like a scene from Twister- picture the scene of the twin tornados in the water- seems fitting right?
All of your worries about how you are going to raise your twins are quickly replaced by some newfound skills. Like mastering being sick and driving, knowing the exact amount of time it takes you to get into the grocery store for the absolute necessities and getting out before the smells overwhelm you. If you are a twin momma who happened to escape the vehemence of morning sickness, my hat is off to you as that was one of the most challenging parts of my pregnancy.
After the second trimester began, I started to settle into this whole “I am going to be a twin mom” thing. Maybe it was because by the second trimester, I looked like I was housing a small horse in my stomach and people began to ask when I was due. Which leads me to the SECOND truth about being a Twin Momma.
Large and in Charge
No matter how you look at it, you are carrying 2 humans inside of you. 4 legs, 4 arms, 2 hearts, 2 heads, I can keep going but you get the picture. You are going to look larger earlier on than a momma of a singleton. (That’s the slang us twin moms call those with only one babe.) I was 5 months pregnant and was stopped in the grocery store (we will also discuss the boundaries – or lack thereof – when it comes to your twins and strangers). Anyway, 5 months pregnant and was asked when I was due. As I looked confused and thought “Due?! I haven’t even thought about having the babies yet!! What do you mean when am I due?!?” However, I politely answered, “I am about 5 months, so I still have awhile.”
That was the snowball that started rolling down the hill. When you approach the end of your pregnancy, you may have to get out of your car a few times to reach the door because it swung open too far to reach across your belly. Which by the way in my opinion is a form of Chinese torture! The human body is stretched to its limits in any pregnancy; a multiples pregnancy starts to seem like science fiction the longer you think about it (Wait. How many are in there right now?? What!??)
Also, people will literally run into the other aisles of the grocery store as they feel you are going to instantly combust in the aisle. (Which, if you haven’t noticed yet, I have a sense of humor….) So I began to just follow those people around the store for two or three aisles, because let’s face it- you are uncomfortable physically, why not make the best of it and laugh at the uncomfortableness of random people staring at you! This leads us into the THIRD truth about being a Twin Momma.
I could go on and on about the birth of twins, however this is short and simple. Whatever you feel is the best way to have your twins, do it. Don’t let anyone tell you that a C-Section is not a real birth. (Yes, I was actually told that, and yes, mine were born emergency C-Section due to toxemia.) Birth without meds, birth with meds; whatever the choice, you and your doctors decide what is best!
The FOURTH truth about being a Twin Momma.
Remember all those people who ran away from you because you were huge…. Well they are back, but this time they’re flocking to your twins like a circus attraction. People will cross the street to greet you. They will come out from behind store displays, roll car windows down, leave their vehicles at the gas pump. No matter how many advanced degrees they possess, how many children they have of their own, or how intuitive and erudite they may be normally, inevitably they will ask… ”Are they twins?”
This is where I began to have fun, yet again… now I will be honest- 95% of the time I would answer them honestly… “Yes they are twins.” But if I was in a mood I would reply with… “OMG are there two in there? I swear I left the house with one!” or “The hospital has a buy one get one free special going on right now!” The pure joy of seeing them so confused made up for the fact that grocery stores do not have carts made for twins. Don’t even get me started on that… I could get on my soap box for days about grocery carts and twins.
Lastly, the FIFTH truth about being a Twin Momma.
Create a Village
We always hear people say “It takes a village.” Well, the honest truth is that is 110% true, both for singletons, but even more so for twins. Throw shame out the window and lean on those who you know and trust. Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do. Your village is there to support you!
We hope you loved hearing from Sammi!!! She will be back to share more Twinsight (and more laughs!) with us again soon!