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Guest Post: A Love Full of Hope & Fear

Hi everyone! My name is Molly. I’m 23 years old and currently live in Denver, CO with my husband, Christian, and our 9 month old son, Boyd. 95% of the time you will find me in our quaint little townhouse spending time with my family and taking pictures of my precious boy and golden retriever. The other 5% of my time is spent sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in my hand watching the latest ridiculous reality show or at target. We try to live very “go with the flow” lives, especially after abruptly having to move to Colorado from our home in Tennessee and having our baby. Life is constantly changing (for the better) for us and we are embracing it every step of the way!


I was excited when I got pregnant. I was excited when I felt the first baby kicks. I was excited when my contractions started. I was excited during the quiet car ride to the hospital. I was excited when my husband held my hand as helped me through the painful contractions. I was excited when they told me he was almost here after two hours of pushing. Then the minute I felt my son lay on my chest and let out that first cry, all of that excitement went away and this intense rush of love took its place. It’s a type of love that you only dream about. Its a love that is full of hope and full of fear.

Giving birth to a baby sucks. It hurts, it’s exhausting, it’s nerve wracking, it’s scary. In fact, it is one of the scariest things I have ever done in my life, even though I felt SO prepared for the whole ordeal. Boy was I wrong. I was absolutely NOT prepared for child birth. I was prepared for the pain. I was prepared for the diaper changes. I was prepared for breastfeeding. I was NOT prepared for the emotional side of birthing a baby. The minute that tiny, screaming, squirmy baby was placed in my arms, my entire world changed. I no longer worried about anything other than taking care of that baby and it is exhausting. The worry that comes with having a new baby is EXHAUSTING. Are they eating enough? Are they sleeping enough? Are they pooping enough? (Yes, you will ask this question a lot. My husband had to physically stop me from touching his poop the other day.) The worries are endless and they can really take a toll on some new moms.

Personally, I had a really tough few first months. I had only lived in Colorado for five months before having my son and all of my friends and family lived in Tennessee. I was already feeling lonely and sad, staying at home with my newborn all day with no friends or family around to visit or help, but those anxieties that come along with having a new baby didn’t help one bit. The worry that something would ever happen to my son was breaking my heart and soul even though he was perfectly happy and healthy and I didn’t think there was anything I could do about it. I figured it was just the “norm” for moms and that I would spend the rest of my life like that. It wasn’t until my husband mentioned to me that he didn’t think I was acting like myself that I realized it was NOT normal. I reached out to a few other moms and found out that although it was unhealthy and not normal, I was not alone!

I am not one to put myself out there in public settings. I get very self conscious and nervous, but I was desperate so I started to take my son to story time at the library, mommy and me yoga, and joined some “mom groups” and I finally started to make other mom friends and I realized that SO many other moms feel the same way. Lonely, overwhelmed, and friend-less. I used to see those mom clans strolling their babies through the mall as I strolled my baby around alone and I would get so jealous, but then I realized those moms felt exactly like I did at one point. They didn’t just “happen” to have ten friends that all have babies, they signed up to be a part of a mom group! IT’S TRUE. I didn’t believe it at first until I started putting myself out there and since I did that, things have changed tremendously. Yes, I still feel lonely being away from all of my high school and college friends and family, but I have new friends that I have so much more in common with now.

So, I am here to tell you that being a mom is hard. It is amazing. It is fun. But, it is the hardest job anyone could have. It is not only physically hard on you, but it is also emotionally tough. Put yourself out there and look around for mom groups and take your baby to story time at the library every now and then. It’s not only good for your mental health to have other adult interaction, but it’s good for your baby too! Being a mom can be so so fun and exciting if you let it, but you may need help and you shouldn’t feel guilty for that because the rumors are true- it really does take a village!

You can find more Molly over at her blog! Her talents aren’t just limited to writing, either- take a peek at her painted portraits and gorgeous wedding invitations at her shop, too. We know you’ll love her just as much as we do!

XO,

Your Milk Shoppe

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