There is no question that becoming a mom changes you. The moment you saw that positive pregnancy test, you knew your life would never be the same. That one single moment in time probably held more significance than most other moments in your life up to that point. That world-pausing, catch-your-breath, does-that-say-what-I-think-it-says, freak-out moment…probably best summarized as terrified joy.
Becoming a parent is life-changing for both the mom and the dad, without question. Dads certainly have their own newfound struggles that keep them up at night, and in no way should those thoughts or feelings be dismissed. However. It pales in comparison to what changes for us mamas. EVERY.THING changes. Everything. Your body, your brain, your bra size. Sometimes your shoe size, oftentimes your occupation. Definitely your sleep schedule…if you’re one of the lucky ones that gets to call it a “schedule”.
It takes a huge effort to maintain even a similar semblance of yourself pre-child. Since the moment you saw those pink lines, you’ve been dedicating every ounce of energy to the care and concern for this little being. It’s easy to let yourself, your relationships and previous priorities, slip to the back burner. ‘Mommy’ is undoubtedly one of thee most important life roles that we play, but there’s so much more to us than that. We are wives/girlfriends/lovers, sisters, aunts, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and if we’re lucky, still daughters to our parents. It’s good for our kids to see that we have relationships and interests that lie outside of them. Showing them that we can wear many hats, oftentimes many at once, teaches them to strive for the same balance in their lives someday. Being a mom can overshadow the fact that we’re just women, with goals and ambitions of our own. Maintaining this focus on ourselves is not only normal, it’s healthy. We need to remain our own biggest advocate for our personal identity, aside from our kiddos. By doing so, it creates a healthy balance in not only our lives, but our families lives, too.
So, requesting a favor, if it’s not too much to ask: the next time you see a mama, help her feel this love. Ask her how SHE is doing. Ask her about HER day, and don’t mention a thing about her adorable little stinker in the stroller. Trust me, she’ll appreciate it.